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Now This I Didn't Need



April 24th, 2010 08:12 am | by Ed |

I think that there is a distinct possibility that Mr. Helpful's reign as the lead irritatingly-persistent-know-it-all in Nutjob Hills might just possibly be threatened. At least there's a relative newcomer (he's only lived here for six months or so) that certainly seems to be trying to take the title.

Now Mr. Helpful has, over the years, approached me with many different ideas for "helping" me lose weight and while most (if not all) of them have been things that I wouldn't recommend anyone actually use they have, in their own way, at least seemed sorta kinda logical. Not only that but he at least had the courtesy to wait until I actually made the mistake of mentioning to him that I was trying to lose weight.

His would be successor however had no such restraint. The very first time we met he brought up the subject of weight loss and started talking about how he had helped his sister in law lose weight that she had been desperately trying to get rid of for years. The next thing I knew he was talking to me about how he could help me the same way. Then he suddenly got this faraway glazed over look in his eyes and wandered off.

I should have recognized it. Mr Helpful has had that look more times than I can remember and it always means that some harebrained scheme is coming. Well, helpful-wannabe showed up this morning (knocking on my door at five am!) to tell me that he's got a great deal on curvatrim and that it's sure to give me the results I need.

It took me the better part of an hour to get him to realize what time it was and to (I hope) get it into his head that at five am I have no intention of listening to ANY ideas, pitches, schemes, offers or whatever else that wasn't an actual emergency. Besides, given some of my recent health issues My doctor doesn't want me trying anything new right now that he isn't prescribing.

When he started asking who my doctor was I bluntly ordered him to leave and not come back. THAT only took another fifteen minutes.

And the doctor wonders why I'm developing high blood pressure. (HE doesn't live in Nutjob Hills!)

Technorati Tags: strange, help, odd, unwanted help, nutjob hills, weird, humor

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